Be Ye Kind.

**I get SO much encouragement from other mom-blogs!  I'm thrilled when I get ideas from them and they work in our home.  I hope that when I share ideas from our home, you feel the same way!**

Many of the blogs I read take a "word" or a "phrase" for the year.  I love the simplicity of it, so for 2013 our "phrase" is "BE KIND".  It goes along well with our "Family Motto".  During Christmas I had gotten SO fed up with the "Green-eyed Gimmies" I was completely disgusted and felt like I was failing to teach my children to think of others.

As I have written before, kids just love things when you get all fancy-pants and make a big deal about them.  A jacket with butterflies on it is transformed when a certain little girl is called "Our Lady of the Butterflies" when she wears it.  A double-wide where we spend a week each summer is a bit more magical when called "Our Summer Home".  So in the spirit of it all, I have really taken "Be Kind" and run with it.

I had a big "Family Meeting" about the phrase and

The Wheatfield

...ordered this print for the living room.

I know the Bible says that if you tell others about kind deeds then they don't really "count", but I like to think that he gives us a little wiggle room when we are teaching children.  Children are NOT born kind...they need lots of help!  They need examples of what it means to be kind.  They need confessions from us about times when we have not been kind and we are sorry. 

We are ALL born so selfish and we have to suppress selfishness our whole lives.  Sharing out loud is teaching them so much about what kind "looks like".  We have had some great discussions about what kindness is.  Basically something that you don't HAVE to do, and something you have not been ASKED to do, but you do because you know it would make someone feel loved.

So in the month of January we began sharing each night at supper one kind thing we did each day...Outside The Home.  We talked about how we do our best recognize and practice kind acts within our home so we can take kindness out into the world!  The incentive was candy (A Hershey Kiss...and now two Skittles), of course - I always find candy to be a fabulous incentive.

I want to share with y'all how amazing this "phrase" business has been after just one month!  What I love is that once I got the ball rolling, they have run with it.

-The second we are all at the table, after the blessing, they are SO excited to share what they have done kind that day...and hear our examples.  It has really changed our whole dinner focus.

-Betsy suggested a couple weeks in.  "How about we do two things kind for a Kiss?...Sure!

-Jay suggested that we write our kindness acts down and see if we can get to 100 and when we get to 100 we can do a fun family activity...Sure!

So already our goals have grown and right before my eyes my children...actually all of us...are changing our "mirrors" to "windows" and seeing the world differently. 

This is it.

Jay's First Day of 1st Grade

It took two days to hit me.  I had felt shock, fear, gratitude, worry...It took two days to feel genuinely SAD.  

Our children's program was yesterday.  It was on my mind as the kids came in.  I teared up as they sang song after song about Jesus's birth. 

The raw sadness hit when they left the stage.  Empty chairs. 18 empty chairs in the front row.  Mentally I add two more chairs.  

Empty chairs...where smiling faces had just been.

20 kids that had most likely been practicing for their own Christmas program.

20 kids, just like these joyful kids in front of me, singing about Jesus and LOVE.

20 kids that had done nothing wrong.

20 kids that have parents who will have a lasting image of a little LLBean bookbag getting smaller and smaller, then disappearing behind closed doors.

I'm holding my own tiny Lucy in my arms as the tears fall.  Her innocent smile.  Her whole life ahead of her.  

I look beside me at Justin holding my sweet Betsy.  She's so happy...feeling all fancy in her new polka dot tights.  I look over to my left and I see my first born sitting with his group, surrounded by his friends.  Adorable little faces...all dressed in their Christmas program best...little friends I'm thankful to have grown closer to in K Sunday School and VBS.  He smiles and waves. The tears keep falling.

20 chairs will be empty in their church. 
An entire classroom will be empty in their school. 

A little voice. "Mommy, why are you crying?"  It makes me cry harder to know that I can't even tell her why I'm crying because the sins of that day are too horrific.  I just say, "Because I just love you so much and am so proud of you."

Carefully selected gifts this Christmas that will be given away, unopened by their intended recipient.  Empty stockings.

Empty chairs at the dinner table.

Empty beds filled with loveys and blankies and favorite stuffed animals.

Already printed Christmas cards that will be a lasting eerie image of the final family picture.

Parents who will ask "Why?". 

Parents, just like me, who will have regrets.  Maybe one of them missed eating lunch the day before because they were too busy.  Maybe one of them was too tired to read "one more book" the night before.  Maybe one of them had a late dinner or holiday party and missed the bedtime routine.  Maybe one of them had an argument at breakfast.  Maybe one of them forgot to kiss and hug their sweet child as they got out of the car because they were on their stupid iphone.

Maybe one of them was so distracted on the ride to school that for the life of them they cannot remember the last words their child said to them...they can't remember the last words they said to their child.

Parents who will want to know that their child knew:

etsy.com/shop/thewheatfield

I pray for these families.  I pray for my own children.  I read Stormie during this storm.

Empty chairs.

This tragedy has made me pause.  It's made me reflect on my day to day.  Am I living with no regrets?  Am I being intentional about every moment?  Do I deliberately Choose to Love?  Do I talk to God enough?  Do I pray that He will be involved in every facet of my life, every moment of my day?

etsy.com/shop/thewheatfield

We are only given one life and every day is a gift. 

"All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be." Psalm 139:16

May God bless the families of Newtown with peace this Christmas.  After all, its no secret that kids LOVE a party and this Christmas I know one classroom of sweet, sweet children that is will be attending one HECK of a birthday party. 

www.etsy.com/shop/vintageinclination

Through my tears, that makes me smile.

Happy Easter!

One of our current favorites!!!  The kids and I get LOUD with this one!

Bell Ringers...

This past fall our church made the decision to hire one of our own as a full time children's minister.  I'm thrilled about the decision since my two are at the magical age where they are EXCITED to learn about God's love.

Along with her main goal of teaching about The Fruits of the Spirit, one goal she has had is to really make the children comfortable with the church service.  Right off the bat each Sunday school class learned The Lord's Prayer and I just LOVE how each week Jay peeps up and me and grins because when we say it he can join in.  I'm sure memorization of the Apostle's Creed and some of the short songs within the service will be coming up next.

I say all of this to share another new way she has incorporated the children...the ringing of the bell to start service.

This past Sunday was Jay and Betsy's turn and let me tell you they were EXCITED.  They talked about it ALL week!  Typically when the bell rings it is a background noise.  It is rang by one of the ushers...methodically and seriously.  I'm usually talking to someone when it rings and I hear it, but it doesn't typically GRAB me.

When the kids ring it the TONE of the service is different.  The doors to outside are swung open wide and the bell rings fervently, unabashedly.  You hear giggling and you can FEEL the excitement.  It's almost as the tone/voice of the bell is different...like she is crying out how HAPPY she is to be rung by children.

It reminds me of Luke 18:17  Remember this!  Whoever does not receive the Kingdom of God like a child will never enter it.

After the service several people came up to me and said, "We could hear your two giggling as they rang the bell.  It was a beautiful sound, so joyous!"  The bell made this so clear to me:  Aren't we reminded in Luke to approach God's house...and God's kingdom...as a child?...  Giggling...Fervently...Unabashedly...with JOY!



What is the one thing that gets you through the week?

This was asked recently at a retreat.  A year ago I probably would have said..."Diet Coke?"

However, last year when I started attending Wednesday night Bible Study this answer came extremely easy to me.  "Weekly Bible Study.  Hands down."

My Wednesday night group started back last night...after a summer of being off...and I have so much to say about how sometimes we forget about our best parenting resource.  If we just READ...everything becomes so CLEAR.  We joke that we wish our baby came with an instruction manual.  We WERE sent home with an "instruction manual" when we left the hospital...The New Testament.

This post to be continued...

A Cemetary Visit..with children.

My brother and Grandpa share the same birthday.  It has been a tradition in our family to always celebrate their birthdays together.  Their birthday, and Christmas, were the two times each year when my mom's whole family would be together and there were really great times with really great memories.

I love how traditions evolve and one year Grandpa started buying them matching shirts and each year they would wear the same shirt at the party.

The thing about traditions is that they are AMAZING when you have them, but when something changes and you don't have them then it feels like a little piece of you is missing.  Bart and Grandpa were extremely close...for Bart every birthday will be bittersweet.  I think that is why it is so important as our life evolves that we create new traditions to fill some of that void within us.

{Sidenote:  If you happen to be a couple that every year fusses about which family you will spend time with because of this tradition of hers or that tradition of his.  After the heated debate make sure that you reflect on how blessed you both are to come from families that had established traditions that affected each of you so much that you were willing to debate them!}

That all being said, Monday was their birthday and my Aunt Nancy called me to see if I would like to go with her to the cemetary after I picked the kids up...she would bring some bread...so they could feed the fish and turtles (there is a pond there).  I agreed and without much thought of conversations that might come up with a 3 and 5 year old in a cemetary we got out of the car.  All they had heard was, "We are visiting Grandpa."

Jay:  "Where's Grandpa?"
Me:  "Honey, he's not here.  You know where Grandpa is."
Jay:  "He's in heaven with God."
Betsy:  "So is this heaven?"
Me (finally clueing in):  "No, this isn't heaven."
Betsy:  "But there is Jesus." (points to statue of Jesus)
Me:  "Yes, that is only statue of Jesus...Jesus is in heaven.  Heaven is not here on Earth.  When you die your spirit, soul, personality, everything that makes up YOU goes to heaven to be with God and your body stays here.  Your body is just a shell for you to use while you are on Earth.  After you die and everything else is gone your body is buried here in the ground to remember you by."
Jay:  "So Grandpa is in the ground?"
Me:  "Yes, right here by Grammie, his wife."
Jay (shrugging his little shoulders):  "Well, let's just dig him up!"
Me (Not sure whethere to laugh or cry...chose to laugh):  "No...I wish it was that easy...Let's go feed the fish!"

I was in no way prepared for this impromptu conversation about death, heaven, burials...but somehow it turned out informative and not too creepy.  (Considering where we were, I like to think that maybe there were a few spirits helping!)

Thank God.

My parents were in an accident Tuesday night at 8pm.  It was still light outside and they were just driving along (at about 60 mph).  A drunk driver rammed into them from behind.  Luckily, they both walked away without a scratch.  It makes me think of this:

Dear God, Thank you for my parents.  Amen.

The faith of a child.

Betsy has had an ear infection that is lingering.  We are on our second round of antibiotics.  The ear has been oozy and stinky (gross!).  This convo went down the other night...

JB:  "If it doesn't clear up, we may just have to cut this ear off."

Bet: "That's okay.  I have another one."

JB:  "What if we had to cut the other one off too?"

Bet:  "Jesus would grow my ears back.  He can do anything we ask him to."

Don't you just love it when children sneak in little reminders of faith?!  Bet sneaks in sweet little reminders all the time. "God shook his head the day he built her...oh, but I bet he smiled."-Lee Brice  What a blessing she is in our lives!

Sometimes...

The best things in life are free!

There is a field near our house that we pass every day. It is typically planted with corn and we don't give it much attention. However, this summer it was planted with SUNFLOWERS! Unfortunately the heads faced east and the road was on the west, so the flowers seemed bashful.

That didn't stop us! We took a family adventure...complete with camera and stepladder...to march out into that field. It was SO worth it. Sometimes views of nature are just so pretty I can't stand it. And when you point them out to children they can't stand it either! How could they?  The flowers were as big as their little heads and there were MANY little bee friends to look at up close and personal.

I love how a simple walk into a field can spur so many conversations like...

• God gives us pretty flowers for us...and bees...to enjoy.
• These sunflowers were a type that faced east to greet the sun.
• The bees are there to take nectar that they will use to make honey.
• Our four sunflowers in our garden did not grow because birds ate the seeds too early.
• When these flowers dry up they leave behind the sunflower seeds that you buy in the store.
• The bees won't bother us while they are eating...as long as we don't bother them...