The Bible Outloud...

The Bible Outloud

We had fun posting some of our Memory Verses today!

Who You Are...

I heard a new song on my radio station today.  It gave me chills and for a few moments made my world stand still.  For so many reasons I just had to share it with y'all today.

This speaks to me.  Newtown tragedy.
This speaks to me.  A friend's brother who lost a child to SIDS.
This speaks to me.  A friend who recently shared with me about her miscarriage.
This speaks to me.  The parents of a friend who lost their son in a tragic hunting accident.

Parents, God is listening to you, and He knows just how to comfort you if you ask.  He has been there.

This is it.

Jay's First Day of 1st Grade

It took two days to hit me.  I had felt shock, fear, gratitude, worry...It took two days to feel genuinely SAD.  

Our children's program was yesterday.  It was on my mind as the kids came in.  I teared up as they sang song after song about Jesus's birth. 

The raw sadness hit when they left the stage.  Empty chairs. 18 empty chairs in the front row.  Mentally I add two more chairs.  

Empty chairs...where smiling faces had just been.

20 kids that had most likely been practicing for their own Christmas program.

20 kids, just like these joyful kids in front of me, singing about Jesus and LOVE.

20 kids that had done nothing wrong.

20 kids that have parents who will have a lasting image of a little LLBean bookbag getting smaller and smaller, then disappearing behind closed doors.

I'm holding my own tiny Lucy in my arms as the tears fall.  Her innocent smile.  Her whole life ahead of her.  

I look beside me at Justin holding my sweet Betsy.  She's so happy...feeling all fancy in her new polka dot tights.  I look over to my left and I see my first born sitting with his group, surrounded by his friends.  Adorable little faces...all dressed in their Christmas program best...little friends I'm thankful to have grown closer to in K Sunday School and VBS.  He smiles and waves. The tears keep falling.

20 chairs will be empty in their church. 
An entire classroom will be empty in their school. 

A little voice. "Mommy, why are you crying?"  It makes me cry harder to know that I can't even tell her why I'm crying because the sins of that day are too horrific.  I just say, "Because I just love you so much and am so proud of you."

Carefully selected gifts this Christmas that will be given away, unopened by their intended recipient.  Empty stockings.

Empty chairs at the dinner table.

Empty beds filled with loveys and blankies and favorite stuffed animals.

Already printed Christmas cards that will be a lasting eerie image of the final family picture.

Parents who will ask "Why?". 

Parents, just like me, who will have regrets.  Maybe one of them missed eating lunch the day before because they were too busy.  Maybe one of them was too tired to read "one more book" the night before.  Maybe one of them had a late dinner or holiday party and missed the bedtime routine.  Maybe one of them had an argument at breakfast.  Maybe one of them forgot to kiss and hug their sweet child as they got out of the car because they were on their stupid iphone.

Maybe one of them was so distracted on the ride to school that for the life of them they cannot remember the last words their child said to them...they can't remember the last words they said to their child.

Parents who will want to know that their child knew:

etsy.com/shop/thewheatfield

I pray for these families.  I pray for my own children.  I read Stormie during this storm.

Empty chairs.

This tragedy has made me pause.  It's made me reflect on my day to day.  Am I living with no regrets?  Am I being intentional about every moment?  Do I deliberately Choose to Love?  Do I talk to God enough?  Do I pray that He will be involved in every facet of my life, every moment of my day?

etsy.com/shop/thewheatfield

We are only given one life and every day is a gift. 

"All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be." Psalm 139:16

May God bless the families of Newtown with peace this Christmas.  After all, its no secret that kids LOVE a party and this Christmas I know one classroom of sweet, sweet children that is will be attending one HECK of a birthday party. 

www.etsy.com/shop/vintageinclination

Through my tears, that makes me smile.

Rub 'n Buff Redo (Take One)...

Labor Day weekend we bought a new couch.  You know how when you get one new thing it sparks change in the entire room?  I love that!

I moved the dining room rug to the living room, got rid of the living room rug, moved a table, and got rid of a table.  Lots of change!

That said, I have a little cabinet in my foyer that was my Me-Me's and the handles on it were broken.  I had taken several of the broken handles off and it has been bare for years.  I periodically have looked for replacements, but have had no luck.  I didn't want to settle for something I didn't love, so I've just waited.

Well, I was in Hobby Lobby last week picking up some mats I had cut and looking for Rub 'n Buff.  (My friend Missy had suggested this metallic rub for a mirror that I found at a yard sale.  It's for our master, but needs a little "umph".  More on that little project later.)

While in Hobby Lobby I looked through their handles and found these:

 

Before


The color made them too "country" for me, but with Rub 'n Buff already in hand, I saw potential.  Anthropologie potential.
 

After.


I really love the way they turned out.  I think they are Anthropogie-esque AND at a price of $4.50 each instead of $17+. 

Handles...In Progress.


Now I think she needs a little paint...kinda like new earrings sometimes call for a new dress!


Mommy is not perfect.

At LEAST once a week I lose it...Really lose it.  An example of a "lose it" moment:

We are on our way out the door (not late yet) and I have calmly stated, "Put your shoes on" 18,000 times as I gather my all my crap together.  As as I'm FINALLY ready to walk out the door feet are bare.  "Losing it" sounds something like this:
 
"WHY ARE YOUR SHOES NOT ON?!  WHAT IS SOOO HARD ABOUT THAT?!  IN THE LAST FIVE MINUTES I HAVE GOTTEN LUCY IN THE CARSEAT, MADE A BOTTLE, PACKED A DIAPER BAG, MADE US ALL WATERS, because you asked me to and I was being NICE, PUT MY SHOES ON AND ALL YOU HAD TO DO, which I told you 18,000 times, was PUT YOUR SHOES ON!  PUT YOUR SHOES ON NOOOWWW!  and thanks to YOU, now we are late.  UHHH!"
 
This rant ends with me slamming the door to the garage, loading up my crap and starting the car.  My little ducklings stop whatever non-shoe-putting-on activity that they were doing (probably something messy that I will be cleaning up later) and they are all business getting in the car.  We ride in silence.

I seethe in silence for the next five minutes.  My jaw hurts from where I have it clenched.  Although in the moment I felt 100% justified..."I just wasn't being HEARD!", about 5 minutes later the Holy Spirit shows up and I feel really crummy.  I beat myself up and think about how childish it was for me to throw a tantrum and wonder why I can't "Choose to Love" in every moment of our day.  And my two little ducklings are very quiet and very obedient and it is eerie and weird and it makes me feel even worse.

Just like when JB and I fuss, I know I'll feel crummy until we patch things up, so that's when I put on my mommy-panties and apologize.

"Listen you two, I'm sorry that I yelled.  I love you both SO much, but I just get SO frustrated when I ask y'all to do something and no one listens to me.  Mommy works hard to get us where we need to be and I need y'all to help me by being good listeners.  Would you feel angry if you wanted me to listen to you and I wouldn't? (They nod.)  I lost my temper and the way I yelled was not loving at ALL.  Will you forgive me?"

And, just like our loving Father, they do.  They always do.  And when that thick cloud that was hanging over us all lifts, I'm so thankful and glad that I asked.  Mommy is NOT perfect, but she always loves her babies.

To Expectant Mothers...

I absolutely LOVE the post To Expectant Mothers:  A Warning over at Power of Moms.  I have to say that all of the things Becky talks about are SO true...even after your third child.

We love to laugh at Lucy's sweet faces she makes.  We ooo and ahh over every little sweet grunt and coo she makes...awake or asleep.

I take her picture ALL DAY LONG.  It's just so EASY with my iphone...and I agree with Becky that even though I take a ton, none can capture how stinkin' cute she really is.

I love how JB interacts with our newborns.  He loves to cuddle with them.  He speaks so sweetly to them.  They sleep on his chest every evening.

...plus he's a master burper!

 

I love watching Jay and Betsy and how they mimick us.  Every day their first question is "Where's Lucy?"...I love that.



I snuggle and sniff and rub her fuzzy head and give her kisses on her sweet neck and cheeks until she's annoyed.  Jay loves to do this too.  (JB tells us to quit, but we can't help it.)  I love the smell of her breath and her little wrinkled neck.







When I think of her growing up I want to cry.  When I think of "unloved" babies I want to cry.  Everytime she grows out of a sweet little outfit I want to cry.

 

 

Just Stay Little.

I am easily influenced.

A few years back a good friend told me I was "easily influenced".  At the time it bugged me and I dwelled on those two words for a long time.  You know how once you "name" something it really becomes noticeable and it's in the back of your mind nagging you?

Then something beautiful happened.  One day instead of those words nagging me I just went ahead and owned them...because they were true.  I AM easily influenced.  Let me tell ya, this was a wonderful feeling and it led me to exploring this statement about myself.  I'm a pleaser.  My "love language" is words of affirmation.  Knowing that I am easily influenced helps me to be aware that I need to surround myself with positive influences (daily prayer, good friends, Bible study groups, excellent parenting books/resources/blogs, etc.)  Over the past few years, being aware of that one simple statement has helped me GROW in my faith, friendships and parenting.

Personalities are formed at such an early age.  As my kids get older I am learning that if I observe what "makes them tick," I can parent them better.  Not only can I be better at "filling their love tanks", I can help them "name" qualities they have that we will have to nurture as they get older.  This is SO important because a quality (ie. easily influenced) can certainly be "fed" in healthy ways, but it can also be "fed" in very unhealthy ways.

Betsy is a "pleaser" for sure.  Sometimes it is a subtle "Do you like how I am listening Mommy?" and sometimes it is way more obvious.  Last night she is sitting beside me on the couch and hollers into the kitchen to JB, "Daddy, I really love this football game!"  Then she turns and whispers in my ear, "I really don't like football.  I'm just saying that because I know it makes Daddy happy."

I busted out laughing.  I'm telling you what, she's hysterical.  So many things about her are wise beyond her years and she has a VERY complex personality for a four year old.  I know that the more I observe and learn about her, the more I can help her GROW.  I'm up for the challenge!

PS:  I'm noticing WAY too many quotations here...I'm picturing myself as Chris Farley (SNL skit) flying into the air!