Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Advice from our elders...

I scanned in this photo for this post because they look like they are up to something. 
This is one of many adorable pictures that Heidi took!  I just loved how they all turned out!
Gone are the days when mothers and grandmothers live in the same town as their children.  Giving them advice and helping their children, new parents, get it together.

This weekend my children stayed with my parents.  When we got them back on Sunday I received a bad report.  Some people may not want to hear when their children are acting up...Not me!

At their school I let their teachers know right off the bat that if they have a behavior problem I want to know.  They appreciate this and luckily it has only been a few times that they have pulled me aside and said..."Jay/Betsy did [fill in the blank today], it is not a big deal, and actually at the time we tried not to laugh, but I know you would want to know."  And I do.  When they get home, appropriate talks are had about how we behave as part of this matter what!

That being said, when I received a bad report of the weekend, I was frustrated, but grateful.  I said, please tell me what some of the main issues are and give me advice on what I should do?

Well, one of the main things was just spoiled rotten behavior...No pleases or thank yous.  Demanding one thing after another..."Give me a snack...I want to go outside...I want to watch a movie...Give me a drink."  You get the point.

I had been having the same issues and had been saying "Re-phrase." till I was blue in the face.  They would auto correct, but two minutes later would be bossing me to do something else.  I just hoped that it would eventually sink in. 

My mom gave me great advice..."If you see something is not working, change directions.  Try something else."  She suggested that when the little Neanderthals demanded something, simply say, "No.  But you can ask me again in five minutes.  (or for Bet, you can ask me again when the big hand is on the 3, 4, etc.)".  It's only been two days, but it is working marvelously!   They are using their manners beautifully and if we keep it just may stick when we are out in public...or with the grandparents (fingers crossed!).

I guess my point is.  I can read all the parenting books I want...but every child is different.  Sometimes it is best to turn to those who know us and our children best and just say "Please help me!".

Another thing to remember is to never take offense to something a grandparent or teacher says.  They love your child too and are looking out for his/her best interest.  If you put frustrations aside, together, you can come up with a solution.  Example:  I remember one parent/teacher conference where Betsy's teacher was saying how, when it comes to the long lessons, there are a few that Betsy will do, but others will not hold her interest.  She asked if I had any insight into this and had me look through the long lessons she enjoys.  I noticed that they all involved animals and I told her teacher that it makes sense because Betsy really shows interest in animals.  She had not noticed that and she said she would incorporate animals somehow into the lessons she doesn't enjoy and see what happens.  Problem solved!


Johanna V. said...

Love, love(!) this pic of the kids.

alecia said...

I love this blog! I'm so glad you are doing it! I need it and it is like hanging out with you. Love it.